Ciera's World

Katrina thinking

2011-08-29T09:13:00.000-07:00

Katrina changed so much in my life and in so many ways it was indeed my Tipping Point. So today I'm just taking a little moment to reflect.

With today's instant gratification and social media insensitivity to real events it's sad how soon people forget or just don't care.

Hurricane Irene sparked a lot of fear and excitement among everyone along the east coast. Reading tweets that compared Katrina to Irene were mind boggling. Yes Katrina taught a lot of lessons. But there's no comparison point blank.

A whole city was changed not only by natural dissaster but by government neglect. And it still angers me and hurts me to this day. This is why I say my people, my city is resilient. We survived and kept going. And believe me, I've wanted to quit many times.

So for those of you who don't understand I wish no hard feelings or karma but just please be mindful and respectful of that event and the people that lived it. I lost my home, anything sentimental, my grandma, and my neighborhood. I lost my home. My home.

So many people lost so much more. My prayers and thoughts go out to everyone still there in New Orleans, the ones who didn't survive, the ones rebuilding, the ones still trying to make sense out of all of this, the ones who relocated, the ones who use it as fuel, and the ones who understand.

Love you New Orleans and Gulf Coast! I'll be there soon!

Love,

Ciera Payton

My Cup Runneth Over

2011-06-14T15:23:00.000-07:00

Today I woke up with the feel of despair.
I woke up thinking maybe I'm too ambitious. I'm working on trying to get my one-woman show off the ground for August, writing a short that I want to shoot this year, balancing rehearsals for acting class, trying to pay off bills, and oh yeah work my two restaurant jobs along auditioning. AHHHHHH

So of course I'm feeling wiring and feeling like there aren't enough Cieras to take care of everything. So I went for a run. While running all of these endorphines started releasing. I felt good to just run away. And was feeling so high and the sweat made me feel so good! Then all of a sudden I TRIPPED! I mean tripped so hard that I feel and rolled over. I know people saw me and I didn't skip a beat in getting right up and ignoring people's stares. I was about to continuing running but then I stopped. And told myself to SLOW DOWN. And that's what I did, I walked. I completed my 2 mile run by walking.

And yet there lies a lesson in here somewhere. I'm not confucious so I can't make it sound so profound, but I think the lesson is along the lines of "When your cup runneth over, slow down and take sips rather than huge gulps" :-)

I'm confident that my one-woman show will be amazing! and that I don't need to boggle myself down with making it more than what it is.

Thanks for reading

xoxo

Ciera Payton

Missing New Orleans

2011-05-25T01:57:00.000-07:00

This was the day I went to go see my father in prison. It was such a bittersweet feeling I had. So excited to see him but yet so pissed off to see him in such circumstances. I always feel a little weird talking about him. I feel like my emotions wear on my sleeve the minute I mention my father and where he is. But fuck it, I'm a Daddy's girl and will go out of my way to see him and try to make him happy. He did the same for me. I do miss him though and our visit felt a little more normal than the last one.

The last visit (Father's Day 2009) was so difficult. I mean I kept crying every other minute. I literally had no control over my feelins. This time however it was much easier. I was used the protocol and had more of an idea of what he looked like.

After the visit I went to Audubon park and sat there watching the little lake- in the Magazine street side (for my New Orleanians).

I sat under a Magnolia tree. Had my camera and tripod with me and took this pic.

Just getting off of work and reminiscing back to my trip a few weeks ago and just itching to get back.
Reflecting on what I do as an actor, and really noticing how NONE of it has ever been easy. I strive to make it seem effortless but most of the time its hard.

So therefore sometimes you just gotta stop and smell the Magnolias.

I miss New Orleans

xoxo

Ciera Payton

Back Home

2011-05-06T16:37:00.000-07:00

Since I've been back home in New Orleans I've made it a point to get my ass out of bed and go running.
My time is so limited and I be damned if I'm gonna spend any hours sleeping in or laying on the couch to enjoy cable. It's a really hard challenge considering the fact that I don't have cable and reality shows are so freaking addicting!

Anyhow I've been running my behind all over the Garden District and Warehouse District. I even ventured in the 3rd ward and ran in front of my childhood home and old church. I have to admit I've picked up some Los Angele-ism as far as being scared to run in the third ward, ha!
But then I remind myself of that saying "Ain't nobody studyin' you child" and so I've discovered so much and now feel so inclined to take a picture. So here you go!

Enjoy

Life of THIS Actor

2011-01-23T00:17:00.000-08:00

So here I sit in my room. In Los Angeles. After a long day at work. Well shorter than others. This is one Saturday that I didn't work a double shift at 2 out of my 3 jobs. That's right I'm working 3 jobs. I've always been a crazy person like that!

But tonight it hit me hard. I told the chef at the new job I'm working at that I'm maintaining three jobs. He looked at me and said "When do you have time to Act?" This was the second person that question this. The first was my coworker at my other job, "Sooo what are going do about acting?"

Both questions let me stammering and dancing around the true answer, "I don't know." Instead I said "Oh well, it's all working out, I'm working mainly nights and so that doesn't interfere with daytime auditions."

But really what am I going to do about acting?

I recently revisited "Poetic Justice", "Boyz in the Hood", "Do the Right Thing" and "Casino. I found myself yearning to be in the shoes of Janet Jackson, Nia Long, Rosie Perez, and Sharon Stone. "Maybe I'm not crazy or eccentric enough," I thought after I turned off Casino. "Maybe I'm not hustling enough."
But what else am I supposed to do when I need to maintain finances and live in a foreign city all on my own.

But tonight I pondered hard. Is this me throwing in the towel?

Naaa, One thing I do know and that I am for certain is that everyone's path is different. I love when Jay Z says "Everyone can tell you how to do it but they never did it."

That's how I feel. I'm honestly taking it one step day by day. No one else wears my shoes or completely knows what it's like being in them. But damn it I sure would like to switch with a couple of other people.

In the meantime, I stay optimistic. For some reason, I'm not depressed or sad. I'm still an actor no matter what.

Michele Shay said it best, "You gotta live life in order to tell stories." Hell I'm definitely living it now!

On another note, I saw John Lithgow in his One-Man show or "Stories from the Heart." I'm so glad that I talked my friend into going to see it with me. It really opened me up to a whole other world. He told two stories and talked a lot about storytelling, because that's what actors do, tell stories, and people listened. And boy did I listen. He told storied I had never heard before but they sat with me. And he was so funny and animated. That's what I want to do as an actor is bring someone completely different from me and my upbringing into my world and share stories with them that they have never heard and have them connect with me.

Ok I'm starting to sound like Dorothy here! but it's true! John made me proud to be an artist. to be an actor.

Now if only I can ACT!

It'll all be in due time. I'm sure of it. Until then, I'll continue strategizing and moving forward. Somethings going to come through.

Ashe,

Ciera Payton

A Customer Left this to me

2011-01-02T01:32:00.001-08:00

At work last night a customer wrote this and left it along with a 7$ tip on a 20$ tab.

I started to ignore it but it spoke to me.

And here what it says...

Happy New Years to you and your love one. Respect this coming year and it will grant you wisdom. Remember it's ok to let go. You had along year. Now it's time to renewed your self-and bigger-a new year. Make sure that life has a purpose for give your enemies and love your self more don't look back cause it might hurt. So when you go home tonight thank your self for being an amazing person. Do the same for others and life will pay you back. Hang in there be happy and always smile no matter what.

From me
For them
To you and to us.

Well Well Well Well!

2010-10-08T23:42:00.000-07:00

First things FIRST!

I woke up this morning prepping for a long day of organizing for my New Orleans Benefit and a long shift at work.

To my surprise I find out I AM NOMINATED FOR AN AUDELCO AWARD!!!!

For BEST LEADING ACTRESS!!!!! in "Savannah Black and Blue"

Wooo Hooo!!!

Honestly, I have to celebrate and rejoice because I am so grateful and thankful for all the good that is coming my way right now!

I wanted to cry but I was too busy screaming in my car!

Also! the New Orleans benefit is rolling!!!! I'm so excited and so blessed to have Ashley-Nicole!
It's just so amazing how wonderful things are unfolding!!!

Lots of work to do but lots to celebrate!!!

Where I wanna be one day

2010-09-28T21:51:00.000-07:00

My trip to Florida was a much needed trip!

I got a chance to see my two favorite aunts and to just get away from all the craziness going on in La La Land!

It felt so good!

I was thrilled!

Well on my way back to LA it occured to me that I've never taken a pic of the outside of the plane. I usually just stare at the clouds and admire the sheer beauty of them. I wanna fly one! And yet I'm soooo terrified of heights!

Anyway here's the pic I took from my iphone!

Enjoy!

xoxo

Ciera Payton

Feeling Good!

2010-09-17T11:52:00.000-07:00

So this LA move has been quite a journey!

Lots of ups and downs which has at most times left me feeling very hopeless and helpless.

But lately I've been gaining a little pep in my step. I'm not sure what it is exactly. Maybe the fact I'm auditioning a way lot more or maybe this whole "planet alignment" thing is shifting. Or maybe my whole new Buddist outlook is showing me to appreciate the good in everything :-)

I dunno but I'm feeling very victorious!

Of course I can point out all the bad things going on but there's quite a bit of gain going on.

My car was rear ended and now I just got word that it is ruled to be totaled....sigh BUT I'm getting a new car! Thank God!

My Yoga training is really picking up! People are hitting me up left and right to teach them Yoga!

And my New Orleans benefit is FINALLY going to happen!!! OMG I'm so happy!!

So on this Friday I'm feeling really good and extremely thankful!!!

Thank you God!

Ciera

Friends Always Get You Through

2010-08-25T20:16:00.000-07:00

With my hands full and major decisions to make, I always make sure to check in with my friends.
Especially the ones that I made into my FAMILY while living in New York.

Today I talked to one of my dearest friends Que Duong. He makes me laugh so hard and just genuinely listens with is more than I can ask for. He laughs at me for always being so dramatic but that's my life!

Ashley Shante is a treasure as well. She was so worried about me this past week and made sure to check in with me around the clock.

Mychael Chinn is the silliest funnest guy ever!

Isreal Scott is the light of my room!!!

Erica Wiltz gave me Tai and I couldnt be anymore grateful for her and that little boy!

I just wanted to blog about them because I love those people so much and it makes my world to stop and talk to them on the phone!!!

Me and Que in Harlem

Me and Ashley Shante

My lucid dream

2010-08-25T00:16:00.000-07:00

For years now I've had this dream where I'm being chased by a serial killer.
He's usually dressed in a costume. Most of the times its a gorilla costume something like Donkey Kong.
Sounds silly, I know but it's very vivid and very scary.

Well I haven't had this dream in a really long time until this morning.
I dreamt he was chasing me again. This time there were other people there. I can't remember who but they were there.
He was in a Frankenstein/Ed Munster type of costume. And he was after me!
I kept running and running through this kitchen but he finally got up to me and he had these knives in his hand. He kept trying to stab me and finally I reached for his wrist and with my strength I grabbed the knives and began slicing him.

He didn't really put up a fight. He laid there and let me slice him and then died.

I woke up thinking, "Wow I finally killed him and it was so easy."

When I looked up dream interpretations they all said that I was conquering some fear that was there.

So what is the FEAR?
What have I been afraid of all these years?
Will the dream come back?

I dunno but what I do know is that it felt so good.

I mean the things that scare me are really being alone. I mean really having nothing or no one (family and friends NOT in terms of lovers) to turn to.
I've been so independent for so long but there's a huge part of me that loves people and loves bringing them together.

I'm also afraid of failure. Therefore I'm afraid to say no.
I've also been afraid to truly stand my ground.

These are things that I feel like I've conquered or that don't seem so HUGE to me. They are tiny things. Failure? Confidence? Loneliness?

They exist but aren't the main platter.

So here I sit at my computer thinking about that dream and how triumphant it felt to kill that thing that was chasing all these years.
And now I search for the deeper meaning of it.

And now it's time for bed!

This photo is from the play "And My Name Ain't Peaches" I just thought it'd be very fitting!

Finally got what I asked for

2010-08-21T13:11:00.001-07:00

So for the last month I've been telling myself that I need to wake up really early to see the sunrise on the beach. Whenever I would visit my Aunt Kathy in Florida that's the thing I would do.

But unfortunately I don't live too close to the beach out here in LA and therefor I don't make the effort to get up at 4am to drive to Santa Monica.

But something really cool happened...I rsvp'd for the WIF breakfast in malibu last week. It started for 7:30am which meant I had to be up way early to Beat the traffic. As I drove along the PCH I saw the morning come alive along the beach! I forgot the sun doesn't rise on this coast but it sets. Either to be along the beach so early in the morning was thrilling. And then the restaurant we were all meeting sat right along the beach.

It was so beautiful I literally had tears!

The breakfast was amazing I got to hear Lucy Webb speak which was so inspiring.

God I needed that so much!

2010-08-15T19:00:00.001-07:00

LEAP and the NET will APPEAR

2010-08-08T23:58:00.000-07:00

Tonight I said I was gonna give up.

I took a look at what I had here in LA.
It's been a hard and difficult journey so far, losing so much and trying to maintain my sanity.
I'm over worked and underpaid and mentally and spiritually lost right now.

Talking to Maxx tonight really helped the situation. He reminded me that others have it worst off than I do (something my Aunt Kathy always said).

Sometimes I do have fantasies of selling everything and going to Africa or Tibet and find the meaning of my life and my existence. I just don't know what it all means. The suffering, the pain, the hunger, the fighting, the happiness, the pleasure....

I mean who am I and what am I meant to do?

I'm at a lost right now.

But truth be told there's something going on with everyone right now. It's a lot of weird static energy.

A friend got fired
2 of my friends cars got vandalized
Someone I know just had their fiance leave them
Someone else just broke their foot

There's a lot of chaos and I just need the earth to just quiet down and smooth out right now.

Day 2 of cleanse

2010-07-06T14:30:00.000-07:00

OK so I admit I was soooooo hungry yesterday! I had a handfull of chips! But they were the natural kind with sea salt.

Other than that I didn't eat anything else and just hydrated with the cayenne maple and lemon juice.

Mentally I feel very settling. My mind doesn't feel so static and it just feels like a process of taking it one day at a time.

the food cravings are nuts though.
Yesterday I just craving ice cream, fries, salads, brownies, everything. And then I really had to think about it and reflect that stuff is just gluttony. I really love indulging in food at no cost.

I'm surprised though that I haven't had a headache from hunger or anything like that. My body isn't hungy its just my mind. Which is so interesting to think about. The mind is such a powerful thing.

2010-07-05T16:46:00.000-07:00

My Aunt Kathy just sent me pictures. She's always in a sentimental mood and I love it. I like that she likes to bring back all the good times from the past.

Me and my NaNaw

I used to dress up like a secret Agent. I don't remember this character's name though

My Birthday and My Grant Hill jeresy. Why I loved that jersey so much I'll never know!

I absolutely love Barbies

My Dad and Brother

Me and My Mom

Carrie Underwood - Don't Forget To Remember Me

2010-07-05T11:16:00.000-07:00

This is one of my favorites songs. It just randomly played on my itunes.....

Cleansing

2010-07-05T11:14:00.000-07:00

So I finally decided to do the Master Cleanse.
I've been debating about it for a long time. I'm not opposed to self cleansing and healthier eating.
But for a while the thought of just drinking liquids is so freaking scary!
But someone advised me to really research it before I do it. And so I did someone online research and go the book at whole foods.
Its some good stuff.
It's both healthy and spiritual. I figure that it will be a challenge but my mind and body needs some clarity. Especially since I've been in such a terrible mood for the last week.
So here's my day 1
Last night I started the first step: Laxative.....
You have to take it over night so when you wake up......yeah I'll leave it to that

The next thing is the sea salt water. You have to drink this before you begin with the maple syrup lemon juice.

So since LA has really bad water, I just boiled it and I'm letting it cool off and I just added my 2 teaspoons of salt.

I'm feeling pretty good about doing this.

This journey

2010-07-04T11:28:00.001-07:00

This week was filled with so many ups and downs. I opened up a whole can of worms that I wasn't prepared to.

My NYC trip was amazing and well needed. But it's hard to ignore the negative energy that was bounced my way.

I can't help but to be hurt by the fact that my relationship with my family will never be the same.

I have mixed feelings about it all. But like a teacher of mine always said "this too shall pass" and this I know.

On another note....

In the Heights was AMAZING! my GoD!! It was so amazing and it really made me miss NYC sososo much. Of course it made me reflect on my life and what I'm doing with it.

It anything it def got me inspired and reminded me to appreciate this journey.

I'm loving it!

Sent from my iPhone...that's why there's typos and crazy grammar!

www.cierapayton.com

friends

2010-06-19T21:42:00.001-07:00

Writing my Dad

2010-06-18T22:05:00.000-07:00

So tomorrow is Father's Day and I neglected to send him SOMETHING. But its all very limited since he's in jail so I guess I'm suppose to write him. And all I can think is how fucked up this is. I'm just a little angry about having to write him. It's like I have to feel so sorry for him. and yes I do love him and I do feel bad about him being in jail but I'm just trying to write him and have no idea what to say. "hope youre well" "miss you!" "my life is busy" "I'm looking for a job" I mean what am I supposed to say?!?!?

I don't even think I can send him a card because of all of the security stuff. So FUCK......I just realized I need to send something to my Uncle Tom for Father's DAY!!
Help me ya'll!!!!

Please!

Here's my episode on Fake It Till You Make It

2010-06-15T16:15:00.000-07:00

http://www.hulu.com/watch/155498/fake-it-til-you-make-it-never-sleep-with-the-fans

Serendipity

2010-06-15T16:13:00.000-07:00

I have to start writing my book because my life is beyond just coincidence. The universe is just THROWING me signals left and right! What does one do with all of it?!?!

My Vent

2010-06-10T21:54:00.000-07:00

So my aunt just called me and told that my father sent her a letter that had her extremely distraught. "He doesn't sound well." She then proceeded to tell me that I needed to write him a letter because he's worried about me.
Now here's the deal, I'm focusing on A. B. C. and D. Trying to survive and make it. My father made HIS mistakes and I shouldn't be the one to feel bad about them and be accosted to write him because he's unhappy in jail.
Right now I'm trying to get a job that actually pays and supports me. I trying to work as an actor and just really keep my head up above water. I can't worry about my father. He's sentenced to 7 years and has 2.5 already.
I love him to death Lord knows I do, but what am I supposed to say at this point and why am I in trouble or a bad person for not writing him?
I didn't make the decision to do crack, break the law multiple times, and hurt the ones I love. So yeah jail is gonna be tough and for my aunt to dump all of this on me just pisses me and actually hurts me even more.
Right now I just feel like telling some folks to beat it! I just wanna be happy! And I will be!

On another note. I got approached by a handsome guy today while taking a walk. He joined me on the walk and was a gentleman until he said "I had a dream last night and the girl in it looked like you, we were having amazing passionate sex" I said "well oh no that definitely wasn't me!" But he still took the walk with me and at the end I noticed his fingernails. THIS GUY HAS Chipped nail polish on them! I freaked and had no clue on what to say. I was trying my hardest to bail and finally I found a way out! I had a meeting. That was that and I was out!

MB and I have been communicating a lot. I really don't know where we stand but I'm absolutely crazy about him! In my visions on the future I totally see us being on the red carpet and titled "Hollywood's Newest Power Couple"
I mean that to the fullest. He's so talented and so passionate that if just makes me wanna be better and go even further. That is the only way that we can be together. We can't be baggage for each other because we both have big dreams and big moves!
But I miss him and I just wonder if he feels the same way. Who knows...I could be playing myself all over again. Same game different name right? But for some reason this definitely feels different.

Ah life

Vie cest belle!

Ciera Payton

Had to share this

2010-06-08T23:39:00.000-07:00

2010-06-08T20:14:00.000-07:00

Well I'm not sure if anyone is reading my blog. Like I said its my online journal.....BUT here's Jaleel White's new webseries FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT.

Enjoy!

2010-06-08T11:34:00.001-07:00

Wow what an amazing past few days. My eyes are open and I'm fully
inspired. And yet still have many questions unanswered. Mb left today
and that was very hard to let him go. But I really have to be pratical
for the both of us. I have full plate but he had 2 full plates.

It's tough being 24 following you're dreams and building a foundation.
All I can say is that I'll wait for him regardless of if he waits for
me.

But he def keeps me motivated and makes me wanna be better. That's
more than what I could ask for.

C'est la vie!

Ce Cee

Sent from my iPhone...that's why there's typos and crazy grammar!

www.cierapayton.com

My epiphany

2010-06-05T12:16:00.001-07:00

The other night a friend of mine wanted to "talk about us" immediately
my heart wanted to jump out of my chest and I wanted to jump out of
the nearest window.

It was soo contradicting of what I've been telling people and saying
what I wanted relationship wise.

I could hear myself saying "I want someone who understands me and
respects me and that can take care of me..." but in all actually I
don't THINK I want commitment right now.

Ok so I love my independence and being to myself whenever I want. I
love not having to report to any man or feel bad about checking
someone out. I mean yea I miss sex but I can definitely do without it.

But what I realized is that I'm not ready to stop what I'm doing to
focus on anyone else's needs. And I think this is why I got so mad at
my ex for wanting to be with me. To me when a guy wants to pursue
something with me I equate it as them being selfish. To selfish to
understand where I'm at and what I want. I mean right now if I were to
be anyone I would only give about 10% of myself. Some affection, a few
insights of my life, and some of this body and that's it. The rest of
it is going into acting and pursuing my dreams.

So this now brings me to MB...someone who's in the same exact boat as
me but makes my skin tingle when I think of him. But he's just as
confused. I believe he wants me but doesn't want commitment and at the
same he doesn't want anyone else to have me.

But it's cool though. I like it this way because the strings are so
loose. And therefore my feelings don't get 100% invested. We can both
do what we have to do and make names for ourselves and figure it out
from there.

I'm comfortable doing what I gotta do to really make it. And everytime
a man gets in the picture my dreams go on the back burner. NO MORE!

Like Que Duong and I were saying that if it were meant to be in our
lives to have love, kids, and marriage the that would have happened
to us already. I mean considering
the fact that I'm 24...I know that it's normal to be where I am but
most of my friends are settled some with children already.

I think Im meant to do something different with my life.

Tyra Runway

2010-05-25T21:00:00.000-07:00

Love me some Tyra Banks!!!

Abortina Domena No-Mamada

2010-05-24T17:50:00.000-07:00

2010-05-22T17:06:00.000-07:00

I'm so gratefull and thankful that things are really working out. This
really is a process. And I've come to appreciate that. It just makes
me a stronger and better person.

I mean these past 2 months have been beautiful and painful all
together. Ive gained and lost relationships. But someone said that
"when things aren't meant to be God makes it easy for them to fall
away."

And how true is that. No use of holding on to something that's not
meant to be for me.

Last night I was able to go out with my manager's assistant. He just
made me feel so wonderful about myself and my future. I know that I'm
gonna make it! The cards are all lined up in my favor and it's only
just a matter of time.

I went home started writing another idea for a script. I'm proud of
myself for being so brave now to actually let these ideas out and
manifest. I claim in a few months I will producing my first piece.
It'll be in the form of a play or webseries. Or maybe both!

Thank you Universe!

Thank you God!

Xoxo

Ciera

Living the Secret

2010-05-19T13:11:00.000-07:00

Like many people in 2008, I had purchased the book The Secret and was completely fascinated by it. I felt that my life was based on what the book saying and I wasn't even aware of it. I had attracted love, secure finances, and work!
when I graduated from College I took these principles with me to NYC. Even it was scary and such a big move I still kept holing on to the secret. But people were so freaking critical! I took down my dream board because I got tired of people asking me "What is that about?"
Then in late 2008 I booked a part in the Lifetime Movie "Midnight Bayou" at the same time, I was working with my theatre program What Girls Know. I kept questioning "Why God? why would you make this soooo difficult!" so there I was in New Orleans working on the movie and teaching a class. Never having a proper minute to sleep. I got the hang of it though and really started appreciating my situation UNTIL the producer needed me for a day (the day of the girls' final perform in which I was playing the lead) Both needed me at the same. I then faced with an ultimatum- if I left the set, I would be cut out of the movie. so that made it completely clear!
But when I finished up on set and rushed to the theatre to make it there the girls, their faces spoke so much disappointment. It was there that I knew I had to make some major decisions. WHAT DO I WANT?!
I told Brenda later that I should step down from What Girls Know just for a while. I needed to organize my acting career out.
Me saying all of this is to figure where in the last few years did I stop applying "the secret" to my life?
I think once I got back to NYC and analyzed everything, I began to get pissed off at the fact that everything for me is bitter sweet. It was like something was preventing me from being completely happy and completely relishing in something good. And especially living in NYC, you get accustomed to a "hard life" So I think somewhere in there, I started applying the law of attraction less and less.

Well now I'm back on it and I truly feel that it's working. Yesterday, I say "when I get home, there's going to be a check in the mail" I wasn't expecting any money from anywhere and I wasn't sure who would have thought nice enough of me to send me a check, but guess what I had a check when I got home!

So from here on out, I am vowing to myself to keep thinking positive. I admit it's hard sometimes. Some other people dont have the ability to be positive and attract good all the time. So I really have to distance myself from those people. Oh and here's my dream board by the way. Yes these are the things and the people I want to work with!

Xoxo

Ciera

Reading Maya Angelou

2010-05-18T19:24:00.000-07:00

I just read "Wouldn't Take Nothing for My Journey Now" by Dr. Maya Angelou.
I love this woman and her words!

This one part (among others) really stood out to me becuase this is the type of woman I strive to be...

"Women should be tough, tender, laugh as much as possible, and live long lives. The struggle for equality continues unabated, and the woman warrior who is armed with wit and courage will be among the first to celebrate victory"

--Dr. Maya Angelou

Please proof read and comment below...Thanks

2010-05-16T01:09:00.001-07:00

1. What makes you a good role model for children? Be specific and include the values and characteristics that contribute to your feelings.

Growing up in New Orleans, I had my father who was a drug addict, my Aunt Kerry who was a drug addict/alcoholic, and my Nanaw (my grandmother) who battled cancer. As a child, I relied on the arts to help me escape my reality. With that, my difficult upbringing seemed easier and nicer than it actually was. Of course there were many times that I thought my life wasn’t fair and that I should give in to the temptations of drugs and alcohol, even then at a young age. But for some reason I always had it in me to keep my head up and to not give up on life.

My role models growing up were Maya Angelou and my 7^th grade language arts teacher Alicia Oliver. These two women displayed so much power and strength, even they have seen and experienced all the bad that world has to offer. They gracefully survived all of the pains of their lives without placing judgment or anger towards anyone. THAT is what I admired most about these two women. And THAT is what I aspired to be as a young woman living an underprivileged life in New Orleans. This is what makes me a role model, I can and I have inspired young people to be more than a “product of their youth.” Anytime someone says I can’t be something or that I’ll never make it, it just gives me more fuel to be stronger and braver and BOLD. When working with underprivileged children in New Orleans, it is such a treat to allow these children to know that they can be somebody and be something amazing, while working hard and being focused. As a role model, my values are hard work, determination, confidence, and forgiveness. Without these values I wouldn’t be where I am today.

2. Describe your interest and experience working with children. Include all of your previously related responsibilities.

My interests in working with children is to always see them committing to the learning process. Throughout my teaching experiences there’s nothing more satisfying then seeing a child overcome the difficulties of learning (solving problems, gaining clarity, committing, etc.). With What Girls Know (inner-city girls theatre program in New Orleans), we gave the students the opportunity to create an original production that is creative, real, and coheisive. Each time the students are given a blank canvas, with just their imagination, life experience, and any artistic influences at their fingertips. Every group deals with this challenge in many different ways, but the overall challenge is “What is our play going to be about?” Some students get frustrated and lose commitment throughout this process. It’s never an easy task, but in the end all the hard work pays off. The students get the thrill of performing on a main stage and letting their voices be heard. That’s what’s important to me and what interest me the most; seeing them endure the journey but enjoying the payoff!

3. Describe the most challenging work or volunteer experience you have had to date. What were the biggest challenges you had to overcome?

My most difficult volunteer challenge was during hurricane Katrina. I was home from college during Katrina. The night of the storm my neighbors and I evacuated to Baton Rouge, LA. I was separated from my family (my mother and 5 year old brother were in Gulfport, MS at this time).

In Baton Rouge, there was absolutely no cell phone communication and the minute the storm hit electricity was knocked out. After three days we gained electricity and that’s when I was able to see what was going on in New Orleans and most importantly in Gulfport, MS. It was extremely scary to think that there was a possibility that I had lost my family.

I then found out that Red Cross, FEMA, and the National Guard were bringing in injured evacuees to LSU’s Tiger Stadium. Immediately I thought to go there an volunteer; maybe I could find my family or at least get in touch with someone who can help me find them.

When I got there, it was a mad house with very few volunteers. I then got shuffled in to the medical ward where I was a doctor’s assistant to the elderly evacuees. My instructions were “They are very sick, if you see that they are about to pass, just make sure they are comfortable and at peace.” It was very surreal. And in an instant I was left alone in a room with four sick elderly women. It was difficult for me to stay strong not only for myself but for them. I supplied water for them, talked to them, and just tried to make them feel comfortable. Then I notice one of them were having difficulty breathing, so I called the Doctor and he told me, “we have to give her a tracheotomy.” I immediately had no idea what to do, but made sure not to panic because this woman’s life depended on me. With the doctor’s guidance, I did it. I performed a tracheotomy. The look in her eyes was a look I’d never seen before, but it was filled with compassion.

That experience was very difficult for me, because with all my personal fears, doubts, and thoughts going on through my mind I had to stay composed to help save lives.

4. Why are you applying to work at Fitness by the Sea as opposed to other employment opportunity? List all the reasons why we should consider you application – your hobbies, personality, and career goals.

I moved here to Los Angeles about two months ago, in order to pursue a career in Acting. I had to find an apartment, car, and job- which turned out to be yet another restaurant waitressing job. Suddenly, I started noticing that I was becoming very unhappy, drained, and unfocused. Then I realized that I needed to be apart of something where I am challenged, changing lives, having fun, and being creative. Working with youth has always been my strong suit, but there just aren’t enough programs out there for the youth. So often I find myself going back to restaurants, because of lack of fun children’s programs such as Fitness by the Sea.

Fitness by the Sea is such a cool program to be apart of; it’s a summer camp on the beach! It attracts me because I’ve never heard of a program such as this. I feel that my application stands out because I am a fun and take charge person. I have worked with all types of children from all different backgrounds and enjoy every minute of it. I love learning from children and teaching them as well. My personal hobbies are reading, writing, going to the beach, swimming, being active and trying new things. My career goal is to work as an artist and to be in a position where I can influence young people to be their best. One of my biggest dreams is to open an arts based public school that specializes in giving students a creative voice. I feel that Fitness by the Sea is just the appropriate program for me to begin switching gears and get back into what I love doing.

Where am I now?

2010-05-13T23:57:00.000-07:00

I swear today I almost had a neverous breakdown. Actually I think I
did. I woke up to an irate voicemail from my roommate. Which is never
a good way to start off the morning. I was still in a grumpy mood from
yesterday that I accredited for my skipping out on my daily cup of
coffee. But for some reason I was just in a slow mood today. I crawled
out of bed with a headache (which I belive was a caffeine withdrawl)
and made my way to kitchen. I had my usual; oatmeal with fresh bananas
and sugar in the raw along with a glass of water and a cup of coffee.
I then dollied arou d on Twitter and facebook. Just out of shear
boredom. I looked at the time and realized I had 2.5 hours to get
readyfor my audition and call my job to let them know I was gonna be
late for my training shift. It wasn't received so well. The manager
said "next time you won't be able to do this" I told her thank for
understanding. With that I got ready but was still in a foul mood. All
I kept thinking was this is not what I'm meant to do, "wait tables
while pursuing the dream"
I had to play some jay z to get me motivated and amped up. It wasn't
working so I listened to "closer to my dreams" by goapelle. That
helped. Then I prayed and meditated.

There was so much traffic on wilshire that I was about to lose my cool
again. But I just said to myself "time is on my side"

I got to the audition 10 minutes early only to find out I HAD NO
RESUME! So I had to make THAT phone call to my manager. His Assistant
Jay, assured me it was fine andthey will email one to the casting
director.

I got there nervous and wounded up tight. All I could think is "a
ciggarette would be sooo nice right now". I sat there taking in deep
breathes. When I went it suddenly I was chill. The audition went great!

I left and grabbed a cup of coffee (my third one for the day) and sat
to clear my mind. Again I was in a foul mood. I just bear to go to
work. Then this psychic homeless guy started talking to me. Saying
"you're from new Orleans right? You're creole! I know you and you're
whole family is from new Orleans" it was pretty creepy and down right
annoying so I left and rushed to work. I got there just in time and of
course it was a mad house!

I suddenly because tense and stressed and so depressed. I stopped for
a moment and said this isn't me. This is not what my guardian angles
want from me.

At then end of my training shift I was told that I failed my last day
of training and will have to train one more time. My heart broke. I
failed.

I wanted to laugh, fight, and cry all at the same time. But I did
neither. I said ok and left. I got a pack of ciggarettes some
mcdonalds fries and sat I my car and cried.

I know the reality is THIS IS WHAT I CHOSE! I want to be an actress.
Not only that but I want to be a successful, consistent, well known,
influential actress. I want to only make my living by acting.
So as I sat there crying, I dared myself to challenge God. "are you
listening? Do you hear me? Do you care?"
I didn't hear a special voice but I noted the times in my life where
miracles happened and I was able to pull thru and I have to accredit
that to some higher power: God.

I now sit here in my laundry room, not knowing what torrow brings but
just hoping for something more. Something better.

Xoxo,

Ciera

AZ Black film Festival

2010-05-11T02:13:00.001-07:00

Getting reinspired

2010-05-05T19:25:00.001-07:00

Last night when I got home from work I was sooooo tired and feeling so
stressed. I've been training at this new job for 6 days straight and
also wrapped up a play this past weekend so I was feeling really pooped!
But to shake the stress I decided to work out anyway! I remembered
that I had picked up a cosmo magazine at my last walgreens visit. I
grabbed it and went down to the elliptical. I skimmed through the "how
to please him in bed" and "get a better orgasm" sections and suddenly
got mad that I had wasted 5$ on this damn magazine but then I ended up
on the heidi klum interview. I started not to read it because I
figured it was gonna be another "how do you stay so thin and pretty
while balancing kids and family?" article. But nonetheless I had 22
mins remaining on the machine. So I began reading. And yes it started
out praising her body and beauty but then somewhere in the middle I
found out that even Heidi klum had begining struggles. She said she
couldn't get a job to save her life when she first moved to NYC and so
many times she thought about going home. But she didn't want to go
home being a failure.
This is something that has popped into my head soo many times. "Ciera,
just throw in the towel and move back to new Orleans!"
I know this is a journey and I don't know what's in store for me but I
do know what it's like to be where even Heidi Klum once was(uncertain,
full of fear and doubt)
Her cosmo interview really put me at ease and assured me that I just
need to remain patient. I know I'm doingthe right steps, shit I
auditioned for damn near eve tv show that's coming out this fall.

When I see my future I see it without struggle and doubt, I see and I
claim success and love (I had to throw that in there lol)

So now I sit here at the beach reading a book on acting completely
enjoying the sunset!

Xoxo

Ce Cee

Sent from my iPhone...that's why there's typos and crazy grammar!

www.cierapayton.com

TREME

2010-04-29T23:29:00.001-07:00

I absolutely LOVE HBO's Treme! I just love it! And I have a soft spot because I really want to be on it!

iPhone pic

2010-04-29T18:26:00.001-07:00

Looking back at some old photos...

2010-04-29T01:02:00.000-07:00

Me with my bro and my Aunt Kathy

My Mom and Dad and my Bro and ME

I think I was 10 here. This is during Mardi Gras! Where was I going with that HAT?!?!

Me and my brother!

Going Natural

2010-04-29T00:55:00.000-07:00

So a few years ago I decided to forego the RELAXER and go natural. I have a mixed textured hair. which is still on the thick kinky side. Very wild to manage. Well I was doing sooo well until a family member convinced me to straighten it at a Domincan salon in Harlem. 20$ and that's. So of course I got addicted! I was going like once every two weeks. And My hair was looking good. Then in Dec a friend of mine who's an amazing stylist offered to style and cut my hair. I was brave enough to get a color as well. I got it died black. AND I HATED IT! The black, as my grandma would said "makes you look old" and she was right. It also didn't help the fact that my ass was so pale because of the NYC winter weather. But I loved the cut!

Suddenly when I went to visit my mom for christmas I noticed that my hair wasn't as thick as it normally is and that pieces of it were falling out. I wore it out natural and it was so thin! I actually cried. Then I decided to stop any heat to it and just roller set it on rods. I would do that and notice while washing it in the shower how thin it would be. SO I literally for 3 months didn't put any heat to it. But now it looks again like I've had a perm and now there's new growth!

So I started back using Carol's Daughter products which aren't bad. Their smell is just so intense. I'm wondering what I should do though. I mean its now really long but It's not healthy at all and I;m just too afraid to cut it or even do the (DARE I SAY IT) weave!

Oh its hard being a woman with crazy hair........

Doing my Cuban research

2010-04-27T18:48:00.000-07:00

video I found

Above is a link to a video I found while going back and looking at Katrina devastion. I'm working on a play about the cuban revolution and thought itd be smart to pull out some photos of Katrina. Well somewhere I found this video that tells me Bush did i fact know what was gonna happen in New Orleans.
It makes me angry and sad and far too many emotions to explain.

What's next....

2010-04-21T22:10:00.000-07:00

Today was actually a pretty lethargic day. I'm sure it was the weather and also the fact that I have an ear ache! but I went shopping!

I got some stuff from Carol's Daughter. And I really hope it helps my hair.

I hate the fact that I have Mixed Girl Syndrome when it comes to my hair. I just get lazy with it and then don't know what to do with it! I'm actually considering cutting it......Like a bob.

Or getting a weave, but I just can't bring myself to do it nor do I have the money to be spending on Indian Hair!

In other news...

I got dropped from Pat's Cocktails. I really think it was a sign, because that place was too dark for me. I literally felt like all these demons were trying to latch on to me. But I don't like being let go from any place. Oh well.

And now I see that Ray Charles' granddaughter has come out. Hmmmmm very interesting.

Now I have an audition to work on while I lay down with swimmer's ear in my ear. LOL my LIFE!

Ciera

2010-04-16T02:19:00.001-07:00

No sure where I stand on all the recent news surrounding Steven.
But people sure are curious as to what I know.....

Maintainig in LA!

2010-04-12T13:16:00.000-07:00

Today I tended bar!

this past week was such a rollercoaster. I got a car! But had to do all the things you are supposed to do when you get a car i.e registering it, pay taxes, insurance blah blah. When it was all said and done my bank account was looking pretty bad. I then had to factor in food and just general living. I knew this move wasn't gonna be easy but I didn't think I would be sleeping on the floor of my apartment with only a pillow and a blanket unable to afford a bed yet along, towels, dishes, any furniture!
So I had to rely on family to help. It's rather quite embarrassing but I need it!
Everyday is literally a journey for me. I really don't know what's next and I'm trying to hang in there and keep my sanity! It'd be nice to find a really good church out here or something.
but in all of this uncertainty something feels right and I feel like I'm making the right decision.

xoxo
Ciera

Materializm

2010-04-07T22:29:00.000-07:00

Man our society is so material driven and it just disgust me ......sometimes.

Whats the cost of shit?
Marriage, love, family, etc.
When I look at the things people value it really does upset me.
I mean yes, I'd love to be out of debt and yes I'd love to have a very nice car and a very nice home. Heck something that I own. But out here and especially in my field people chase after money, cars, clothes, the hoes. Its sad because I know when it's all said and done that stuff doesn't matter in life. You can't take it with you.
I have witnessed so many relationships fall apart because of these "things" and it just isn't fair and it isn't worth it. I mean wouldn't you want someone to come home to that's been there thru thick and thin.
We have lost sight of all of these important things.
Its just sad and I hate to see yet another relationship fall off because feels like "more" is key while the other is saying it isn't neccessary. I tell you my Grandma's may not have had much but they sure did have love a gave a lot of it. And people remember them until this day. I know they are both looking down and watching over me. I know this! And that feels so good!!!

xoxo

Ce Cee

Happy Easter!

2010-04-04T00:24:00.000-07:00

This week is gonna be an amazing week! I can feel it already!
I'm moving into my apartment and I'm getting back on track with my writing. I'm really serious about starting my book. I've been pondering do I want to tell the world through my journey?
I feel like my overall theme is SURVIVAL.
I am survivor of drugs, abandonment, molestation, jealousy, hate, greed, "i can't," and "NO." But where do I start with that? Forgiveness is key I feel like but I want to get to the deeper meaning of it for me and what it represents in my life. I not only want to start my book off about myself but what was here before me. My existance and infulence goes way before the day I was born. I feel like it starts with my grandmas Carol Frosch and Sarah (Spencer) Payton. And my grandfathers Gene Diaz and J.L. Payton. These four elements created me. And I possess something from each one of them. Strength, talent, beauty, stubborness, character, tenderness, kindness, etc.
My family's history is just so so, I can't even find the words for it. It's like a history of people trying so hard to cross a bridge that keeps breaking. Struggles that kept pushing them back and I feel like I've been sent here to cross that bridge to cross that river. I've came here to triumph!
I'd like to dig a little deep into Walter Payton and Gary Payton's past. They are treasured by the Payton family. And have gone far.
I think it's time for me to take a retreat to New Orleans. And really kick back and search my family's history and mysteries. mmmmmm delicious!

Happy Easter Yall

Appreciating the little things

2010-03-30T22:53:00.000-07:00

Today has been a true testemony to all the good people I have in my life.
The family that I'm staying with here in California are truly something special. Little London is 10 years old and just brings so much joy into the home. I let her use my photobooth program on my macbook to make silly little videos of herself and they have made me laugh sooo hard! And Shay is 20 and just a breath of fresh air. She has been so concerned about me and my stress with my family and the apartment situation. She's been checking up on me and making sure that I'm ok just being really supportive. And Sonya has been nice enough to let me stay here a little while longer till I get my NEW LA place!

Man I tell you when I make it big all of the people who have looked out for me are gonna be in a really good place! Believe that!

So tomorrow I have a total of 7 places to look at and I'm ending my evening off with a dinner with a director friend of mine!

Everything really is unfolding for the best! And I'm so happy about that! God is really an awesome God! I'm so thankful!

So you guys please wish me luck tomorrow on my apartment hunt! I just pray that the right apartment finds me!

xoxo

Ce Cee

Totally random

2010-03-30T01:10:00.000-07:00

Kat Stacks

I heard about this woman yesterday and I see that she has upset sooo many people.
But I'm sorry when in the hell are men gonna learn that they can't continue to think they can get away with everything.
Now I don't know who she slept with and how many times, but I have to be the one to say it "they had it coming to them"

Now I can't say Kat is little miss innocent. I mean to be hanging around rappers and sleeping with them says a lot. BUT these rappers should just keep their mouths shut and not try to deny anything because they messed up anyway. And when its all said and done she's gonna get paid and everyone is gonna find out how wack they are.

So men you know how women can be when we get bitter and fed up. So be smart! because karma is a bia or in this case its Kat!

Go head girl I want more details!! LOL

Getting back on course

2010-03-30T01:05:00.000-07:00

I have been a little off course lately.

Its hard to try to balance every single thing while so many forces are against you. I cried to my mama yesterday. I told her I'm just at a point where I'm tired of fighting so many battles. She said that all of these negative forces just want me to fail because something good is coming and that I will not allow them to. God gave me favor.
I love what Eminem says in that song "Lose Yourself". He says "Success is my only motherfucking option failure's not"
And that is what I have on repeat in my mind right now.
I realized that with all the stress and drama, I have forgot to stand still. Meditate and pray. I have just been so stressed out crying, eating, curing headaches and have just completely forgotten to give up control.
So that's what I'm about to do now is just meditate and go to bed.

Bowing out gracefully

2010-03-29T01:58:00.000-07:00

I realized I've done a lot of that in my life especially this past two years. And here I am once again doing it. I have decided NOT to renew my lease in NYC. It sucks yes but I just know its the best thing to do.
May 2008 my cousin and I signed a lease to a 3 bedroom apartment in Harlem. I LOVE THIS PLACE. Its a duplex, cheap, located in the middle of harlem, close to all the trains. Its just a deal! and I love it!
Then December rolled around and my cousin up and left! I was litterally left with a room to sublet and rent to pay. So I did the practical thing "got someone to sublet"
since then things have been sooo harmonious. I found Liz to sublet the room and the 3rd occupant Kim was also cool. We threw parties and just had a wonderful time!
The week of March Liz found out that she was selected to be in a musical production for a show that would be in NV. I was so happy for her but it meant that she had to leave for 6 months. She was totally up front about it and volunteered to get a subletter for the time being.
Now all of a sudden my cousin wants to move back without any conflict. Problem is ALL 3 rooms are occupied until May 1st. And it's creating such an uproar. My cousin's position is "my name is still on the lease". My position is "you left and I had to do what needed to be done". the subletters' postitions are "we signed on for a place to stay and stay comfortably and THIS is not what we signed up for"
Bottom line is I'm tired of the drama and my family has caused way too much of that in my life. Right now I want success and to live peacefully. This whole situation has literally caused me the jitters, insomina, and I have the sudden urge to want to THROW UP!
None of it is fair and worst part about it (besides the fact that she won't be accomodating and refuses to apologize and see how FUCKED UP the situation is) is that it is directly affecting ME.
So therefore, yes I am forefitting a nice apartment in a wonderful location but if my sanity and my career is on the line then FUCK it I need to now be selfish and do me.
Because everyone around has done just that for themselves and if anything my parents and grandparents didn't raise a fool!
I love my family but from here on out I choose to love them from a distance.
I mean fuck I can't be consumed with my addict father in jail, my indecisive cousin, and a list of others that I just choose not to even get into. I have to look out for me! That's just what I plan on doing.
It sucks though because as an Aquarius its hard not feel and to not hurt. We are very sensitive creatures by nature. But its all a learning lesson and shit I've learned enough! I have so many lessons that I think the world should be looking forward to my book!
so now I choose to bow out gracefully and live my life.
tomorrow I go apartment hunting in LA! wish me luck and send all of your positive vibes out this way. Lord knows I need them!

Love,

Ce Cee

We've only just begun

2010-03-27T23:26:00.000-07:00

At the beginning of this year I had a lovely conversation with the universe and said that I want to walk down a red carpet for a movie that I'm starring in. I want to be in more films and more TV. I want to work steady as an actor and make my living in my field.
Well here it is March and this weekend I walked a red carpet for a film that Im starring in. It wasn't hollywood blvd or lincoln center but it was great! People were scramming to take my photo and they didn't even know my name.
I should back up a little. Faythallegra Coleman wrote and directed The Way Home which what my part as The Female Lead.
Its about a young professional who has left her past behind and has no intentions of looking back.
Its a very powerful story and I did a pretty good job considering it was about 1.5 years ago.
It was premiered in the Azrizona Black Film Showcase and it got a wonderful response. We didn't win for best short but sitting there at an awards ceremony for a film that I starred in was just so great! I now know that yes this is only just the beginning. Oh dear God thank you!!!

Lent

2010-03-26T00:15:00.000-07:00

So I just realized that Easter is almost around the corner. This year I decided to give up men for Lent. Anytime anyone has asked me what I've given up for lent I say meat, because I don't want to go into details and sound like a floozy but yes I've given up men for LENT.

What that means is no exclusive dating, no physical contact, and no entertaining phone calls, emails, facebooks whatever. Now don't get me wrong I did go out to dinner twice. I like to be taken out! that's just what it was and that's it.
To my understanding what you give up for Lent is supposed to be something that cleanses you and brings you closer to your spirituality. And for a while now I did let men stand in the way of me stepping into my full potential.
Some men have made me feel insecure, made me doubt myself, become too clingy, didn't understand my career, or were just terrible! Which would lead me to sit around worrying about them and about me and blah blah blah
So I said screw it, I will not be with or around men for the next 40 days!
And boy it feels good! now I can't front I do miss cuddling and the comfort of a mans arms is something I crave every once in a while, but I am not in a place yet to where I can balance the Him with my Dreams and Goals and Career.
Mentally I can't do it and physically it stresses me out. I really do feel like when the time is right that guy is gonna be there and its gonna be AMAZING!
Shoot! I'm looking for my Jay Z! I want Me and my man to be running stuff and looking fly and sexy as ever doing it! I want to be a POWER COUPLE...
Hence I'm here focusing on myself and cutting out any and all of the BS

Nothing is gonna hold me down!

Making the LA move!!

2010-03-25T11:48:00.000-07:00

Wow!

I spoke to my agent Ellie Goldberg and she gave me her blessing! Actually it was idea to have me stay out here in LaLa Land!
She brought it up first and said "I think this is what you need to do because you need the credits and the exposure"
I'm really excited about it and now I have to figure out the logistics. Job, housing, transportation ect.... But its all good and I'm so happy to now have some clarity on it all. This business is just one you have to tackle and take on by the horns.

But something feels right and feels good about all of this and I'm ready to make it work!
Dear God please open the path door for infinite opportunities and allow more doors to open for me out here! Thank you God

love
Ciera

Good good

2010-03-24T21:42:00.000-07:00

I woke up with a new attitude today! Yesterday after meditating and
laying out on the beach it just made appreciate where I am now.
Meditation is all abou living inthe moment and appreciating the
unknown. So I told myself to just chill out and enjoy where I am.
When I look back I really have come a long way! I mean I really didn't
think I would survive Katrina but shit I did! And I did I with flying
colors!!!

And that leads me to today. I met up with a fellow New Orleanian that
I've never met before. Ou families know each other and I just reached
out to meet up with him. It was very comforting being around someone
from home. And It was especially comforting being around a real live
actual southern gentleman.

Afterwards I went and got some new headshots taken by Christina
gandolpho. And I'm so pleased. These shots are gonne get me sooo
hired! I can't wait to see them!!!

Now I'm just chillin out with my friends that have been my family
since college. It's all starting to feel good!

Sent from my iPhone...that's why there's typos and crazy grammar!

www.cierapayton.com

A gift from God

2010-03-23T21:40:00.001-07:00

Out on the beach earlier today...

Sorting it out

2010-03-23T21:31:00.000-07:00

It's hard to focus when my mind is so preoccupied with all of the things that you have to think of in order to be a responsible adult.
So what did I do today? I went to the beach and meditated and enjoyed what gifts God gave. But it's hard to fully clear my mind now.
What is mind preoccupied with ?
Finances
Shelter
Location
Career
Wow they don't seem that big of deal when they are put in a list like that.
But seriously where am I meant to be? I'm sitting here and watching Low Down Dirty Shame and didn't realize that Salli Richardson was in this movie and for some strange real it made me feel that if I want a career like hers and really work then I may have to come out here to LA and stay.
So now, do I renew the lease in NYC? How will I find a job? Then there's the issue of finding an LA based agent. I have a manager out here which is half the battle.
Finances!!!

Maybe what I can do is go to NYC this summer work my ass off saving money and then move out to LA in the Fall just in time to take general meetings with Casting directors.

I'm already feeling better now about all of this......

Oh and tomorrow I get new headshots taken I will let you know how they come out!
hmmm I guess I'll go ahead and hop on craigslist now.

My thoughts as of now

2010-03-22T23:37:00.000-07:00

Today I picked up my friend Logan from LAX. We chilled and had lunch. Then decided to go to the park and catch Alice in Wonderland. Before the movie started we got into a really deep conversation about the 2 of us trying to reach our full potiential. He said "I feel like I'm so close but there's just a hair standing in the way." I told him I've always felt like that. Everytime I'm embarking on something new and amazing and reaching the TIP all of a sudden something comes along and tries to block it or stop. Its like "No Ciera I'm not gonna let you succeed."

It makes me want to scream and shout and sometimes just get away from the world. These blocks come in all forms: Family, Friends, Finances, and the Foes.

Logan and I then started talking about that's why meditation is so important. His meditation teacher tells him its the time when your conscience remembers. For me it allows me to let go of all the baggage. I often discover that the baggage isn't even mines, it belongs to so many others.

My car ride home I talked to Que and just really tried to answer the questions in my head "how do I get over these humps? Get over these road blocks? How do I step in and reach my full potiential?"
He thought I was just being crazy and analytical. Which these things are hard to put into words and still sound sane. But if meditations and the law of attraction and the universal truths can shift and change energy then why can't I find work as an actor? why can't I be where I want to be? Why cant that all happen now?

Right now I'm feel as if I'm standing at a fork in the road with out signs and labels. I have no idea what's beyond the fork. All I know is that I have no money and very few resources and I'm running out of gas. So what do I do.....Turn back around, go left, or go right?

I guess its time to meditate......

Working on august Wilson

2010-03-22T04:15:00.000-07:00

The men singing oh Bert from piano lesson

2010-03-22T04:12:00.001-07:00

Testing

New Commercial

2010-03-22T04:04:00.000-07:00

finally MACY'S is airing the Clinton Kelly spot. I make my lil cameo midway through. It's really cute and I had a lot of FUN working on it! Check it out below!

My Macy's Commmercial

2010-03-22T03:50:00.001-07:00

Mobil blogging

2010-03-22T03:49:00.001-07:00

So now I'm mobil blogging

Welcome!

2010-03-22T02:17:00.000-07:00

I am a person that does keep a journal and writes in it quite frequently!

I have decided to now make my "journal" public just by sharing my thoughts and my day to day life as an artist.

So WELCOME and ENJOY!

xoxo

Ciera Payton

My Father's Day 2009

2010-01-21T23:19:00.000-08:00