Tyra Runway

Love me some Tyra Banks!!!

Abortina Domena No-Mamada

I'm so gratefull and thankful that things are really working out. This
really is a process. And I've come to appreciate that. It just makes
me a stronger and better person.

I mean these past 2 months have been beautiful and painful all
together. Ive gained and lost relationships. But someone said that
"when things aren't meant to be God makes it easy for them to fall
away."

And how true is that. No use of holding on to something that's not
meant to be for me.

Last night I was able to go out with my manager's assistant. He just
made me feel so wonderful about myself and my future. I know that I'm
gonna make it! The cards are all lined up in my favor and it's only
just a matter of time.

I went home started writing another idea for a script. I'm proud of
myself for being so brave now to actually let these ideas out and
manifest. I claim in a few months I will producing my first piece.
It'll be in the form of a play or webseries. Or maybe both!

Thank you Universe!

Thank you God!

Xoxo

Ciera

Living the Secret

Like many people in 2008, I had purchased the book The Secret and was completely fascinated by it. I felt that my life was based on what the book saying and I wasn't even aware of it. I had attracted love, secure finances, and work!
when I graduated from College I took these principles with me to NYC. Even it was scary and such a big move I still kept holing on to the secret. But people were so freaking critical! I took down my dream board because I got tired of people asking me "What is that about?"
Then in late 2008 I booked a part in the Lifetime Movie "Midnight Bayou" at the same time, I was working with my theatre program What Girls Know. I kept questioning "Why God? why would you make this soooo difficult!" so there I was in New Orleans working on the movie and teaching a class. Never having a proper minute to sleep. I got the hang of it though and really started appreciating my situation UNTIL the producer needed me for a day (the day of the girls' final perform in which I was playing the lead) Both needed me at the same. I then faced with an ultimatum- if I left the set, I would be cut out of the movie. so that made it completely clear!
But when I finished up on set and rushed to the theatre to make it there the girls, their faces spoke so much disappointment. It was there that I knew I had to make some major decisions. WHAT DO I WANT?!
I told Brenda later that I should step down from What Girls Know just for a while. I needed to organize my acting career out.
Me saying all of this is to figure where in the last few years did I stop applying "the secret" to my life?
I think once I got back to NYC and analyzed everything, I began to get pissed off at the fact that everything for me is bitter sweet. It was like something was preventing me from being completely happy and completely relishing in something good. And especially living in NYC, you get accustomed to a "hard life" So I think somewhere in there, I started applying the law of attraction less and less.

Well now I'm back on it and I truly feel that it's working. Yesterday, I say "when I get home, there's going to be a check in the mail" I wasn't expecting any money from anywhere and I wasn't sure who would have thought nice enough of me to send me a check, but guess what I had a check when I got home!

So from here on out, I am vowing to myself to keep thinking positive. I admit it's hard sometimes. Some other people dont have the ability to be positive and attract good all the time. So I really have to distance myself from those people.  Oh and here's my dream board by the way. Yes these are the things and the people I want to work with!

Xoxo

Ciera

Reading Maya Angelou

I just read "Wouldn't Take Nothing for My Journey Now" by Dr. Maya Angelou.
I love this woman and her words!

This one part (among others) really stood out to me becuase this is the type of woman I strive to be...

"Women should be tough, tender, laugh as much as possible, and live long lives. The struggle for equality continues unabated, and the woman warrior who is armed with wit and courage will be among the first to celebrate victory"

--Dr. Maya Angelou

Please proof read and comment below...Thanks

1. What makes you a good role model for children? Be specific and include the values and characteristics that contribute to your feelings.

Growing up in New Orleans, I had my father who was a drug addict, my Aunt Kerry who was a drug addict/alcoholic, and my Nanaw (my grandmother) who battled cancer. As a child, I relied on the arts to help me escape my reality.  With that, my difficult upbringing seemed easier and nicer than it actually was. Of course there were many times that I thought my life wasn’t fair and that I should give in to the temptations of drugs and alcohol, even then at a young age. But for some reason I always had it in me to keep my head up and to not give up on life.

My role models growing up were Maya Angelou and my 7^th grade language arts teacher Alicia Oliver.  These two women displayed so much power and strength, even they have seen and experienced all the bad that world has to offer. They gracefully survived all of the pains of their lives without placing judgment or anger towards anyone. THAT is what I admired most about these two women. And THAT is what I aspired to be as a young woman living an underprivileged life in New Orleans. This is what makes me a role model, I can and I have inspired young people to be more than a “product of their youth.” Anytime someone says I can’t be something or that I’ll never make it, it just gives me more fuel to be stronger and braver and BOLD. When working with underprivileged children in New Orleans, it is such a treat to allow these children to know that they can be somebody and be something amazing, while working hard and being focused.  As a role model, my values are hard work, determination, confidence, and forgiveness. Without these values I wouldn’t be where I am today.

2. Describe your interest and experience working with children. Include all of your previously related responsibilities.

My interests in working with children is to always see them committing to the learning process. Throughout my teaching experiences there’s nothing more satisfying then seeing a child overcome the difficulties of learning (solving problems, gaining clarity, committing, etc.).  With What Girls Know (inner-city girls theatre program in New Orleans), we gave the students the opportunity to create an original production that is creative, real, and coheisive. Each time the students are given a blank canvas, with just their imagination, life experience, and any artistic influences at their fingertips. Every group deals with this challenge in many different ways, but the overall challenge is “What is our play going to be about?” Some students get frustrated and lose commitment throughout this process. It’s never an easy task, but in the end all the hard work pays off. The students get the thrill of performing on a main stage and letting their voices be heard. That’s what’s important to me and what interest me the most; seeing them endure the journey but enjoying the payoff!

3. Describe the most challenging work or volunteer experience you have had to date. What were the biggest challenges you had to overcome?

My most difficult volunteer challenge was during hurricane Katrina. I was home from college during Katrina. The night of the storm my neighbors and I evacuated to Baton Rouge, LA. I was separated from my family (my mother and 5 year old brother were in Gulfport, MS at this time).

In Baton Rouge, there was absolutely no cell phone communication and the minute the storm hit electricity was knocked out. After three days we gained electricity and that’s when I was able to see what was going on in New Orleans and most importantly in Gulfport, MS. It was extremely scary to think that there was a possibility that I had lost my family.

I then found out that Red Cross, FEMA, and the National Guard were bringing in injured evacuees to LSU’s Tiger Stadium. Immediately I thought to go there an volunteer; maybe I could find my family or at least get in touch with someone who can help me find them.

When I got there, it was a mad house with very few volunteers. I then got shuffled in to the medical ward where I was a doctor’s assistant to the elderly evacuees. My instructions were “They are very sick, if you see that they are about to pass, just make sure they are comfortable and at peace.” It was very surreal. And in an instant I was left alone in a room with four sick elderly women. It was difficult for me to stay strong not only for myself but for them. I supplied water for them, talked to them, and just tried to make them feel comfortable. Then I notice one of them were having difficulty breathing, so I called the Doctor and he told me, “we have to give her a tracheotomy.” I immediately had no idea what to do, but made sure not to panic because this woman’s life depended on me. With the doctor’s guidance, I did it. I performed a tracheotomy. The look in her eyes was a look I’d never seen before, but it was filled with compassion.

That experience was very difficult for me, because with all my personal fears, doubts, and thoughts going on through my mind I had to stay composed to help save lives.   

4. Why are you applying to work at Fitness by the Sea as opposed to other employment opportunity? List all the reasons why we should consider you application – your hobbies, personality, and career goals.

I moved here to Los Angeles about two months ago, in order to pursue a career in Acting. I had to find an apartment, car, and job- which turned out to be yet another restaurant waitressing job. Suddenly, I started noticing that I was becoming very unhappy, drained, and unfocused. Then I realized that I needed to be apart of something where I am challenged, changing lives, having fun, and being creative. Working with youth has always been my strong suit, but there just aren’t enough programs out there for the youth. So often I find myself going back to restaurants, because of lack of fun children’s programs such as Fitness by the Sea. 

Fitness by the Sea is such a cool program to be apart of; it’s a summer camp on the beach! It attracts me because I’ve never heard of a program such as this. I feel that my application stands out because I am a fun and take charge person. I have worked with all types of children from all different backgrounds and enjoy every minute of it. I love learning from children and teaching them as well. My personal hobbies are reading, writing, going to the beach, swimming, being active and trying new things. My career goal is to work as an artist and to be in a position where I can influence young people to be their best. One of my biggest dreams is to open an arts based public school that specializes in giving students a creative voice. I feel that Fitness by the Sea is just the appropriate program for me to begin switching gears and get back into what I love doing.  

Where am I now?

I swear today I almost had a neverous breakdown. Actually I think I
did. I woke up to an irate voicemail from my roommate. Which is never
a good way to start off the morning. I was still in a grumpy mood from
yesterday that I accredited for my skipping out on my daily cup of
coffee. But for some reason I was just in a slow mood today. I crawled
out of bed with a headache (which I belive was a caffeine withdrawl)
and made my way to kitchen. I had my usual; oatmeal with fresh bananas
and sugar in the raw along with a glass of water and a cup of coffee.
I then dollied arou d on Twitter and facebook. Just out of shear
boredom. I looked at the time and realized I had 2.5 hours to get
readyfor my audition and call my job to let them know I was gonna be
late for my training shift. It wasn't received so well. The manager
said "next time you won't be able to do this" I told her thank for
understanding. With that I got ready but was still in a foul mood. All
I kept thinking was this is not what I'm meant to do, "wait tables
while pursuing the dream"
I had to play some jay z to get me motivated and amped up. It wasn't
working so I listened to "closer to my dreams" by goapelle. That
helped. Then I prayed and meditated.

There was so much traffic on wilshire that I was about to lose my cool
again. But I just said to myself "time is on my side"

I got to the audition 10 minutes early only to find out I HAD NO
RESUME! So I had to make THAT phone call to my manager. His Assistant
Jay, assured me it was fine andthey will email one to the casting
director.

I got there nervous and wounded up tight. All I could think is "a
ciggarette would be sooo nice right now". I sat there taking in deep
breathes. When I went it suddenly I was chill. The audition went great!

I left and grabbed a cup of coffee (my third one for the day) and sat
to clear my mind. Again I was in a foul mood. I just bear to go to
work. Then this psychic homeless guy started talking to me. Saying
"you're from new Orleans right? You're creole! I know you and you're
whole family is from new Orleans" it was pretty creepy and down right
annoying so I left and rushed to work. I got there just in time and of
course it was a mad house!

I suddenly because tense and stressed and so depressed. I stopped for
a moment and said this isn't me. This is not what my guardian angles
want from me.

At then end of my training shift I was told that I failed my last day
of training and will have to train one more time. My heart broke. I
failed.

I wanted to laugh, fight, and cry all at the same time. But I did
neither. I said ok and left. I got a pack of ciggarettes some
mcdonalds fries and sat I my car and cried.

I know the reality is THIS IS WHAT I CHOSE! I want to be an actress.
Not only that but I want to be a successful, consistent, well known,
influential actress. I want to only make my living by acting.
So as I sat there crying, I dared myself to challenge God. "are you
listening? Do you hear me? Do you care?"
I didn't hear a special voice but I noted the times in my life where
miracles happened and I was able to pull thru and I have to accredit
that to some higher power: God.

I now sit here in my laundry room, not knowing what torrow brings but
just hoping for something more. Something better.

Xoxo,

Ciera

AZ Black film Festival

Getting reinspired

Last night when I got home from work I was sooooo tired and feeling so
stressed. I've been training at this new job for 6 days straight and
also wrapped up a play this past weekend so I was feeling really pooped!
But to shake the stress I decided to work out anyway! I remembered
that I had picked up a cosmo magazine at my last walgreens visit. I
grabbed it and went down to the elliptical. I skimmed through the "how
to please him in bed" and "get a better orgasm" sections and suddenly
got mad that I had wasted 5$ on this damn magazine but then I ended up
on the heidi klum interview. I started not to read it because I
figured it was gonna be another "how do you stay so thin and pretty
while balancing kids and family?" article. But nonetheless I had 22
mins remaining on the machine. So I began reading. And yes it started
out praising her body and beauty but then somewhere in the middle I
found out that even Heidi klum had begining struggles. She said she
couldn't get a job to save her life when she first moved to NYC and so
many times she thought about going home. But she didn't want to go
home being a failure.
This is something that has popped into my head soo many times. "Ciera,
just throw in the towel and move back to new Orleans!"
I know this is a journey and I don't know what's in store for me but I
do know what it's like to be where even Heidi Klum once was(uncertain,
full of fear and doubt)
Her cosmo interview really put me at ease and assured me that I just
need to remain patient. I know I'm doingthe right steps, shit I
auditioned for damn near eve tv show that's coming out this fall.

When I see my future I see it without struggle and doubt, I see and I
claim success and love (I had to throw that in there lol)

So now I sit here at the beach reading a book on acting completely
enjoying the sunset!

Xoxo

Ce Cee

Sent from my iPhone...that's why there's typos and crazy grammar!

www.cierapayton.com