My Vent

So my aunt just called me and told that my father sent her a letter that had her extremely distraught. "He doesn't sound well." She then proceeded to tell me that I needed to write him a letter because he's worried about me.
Now here's the deal, I'm focusing on A. B. C. and D. Trying to survive and make it. My father made HIS mistakes and I shouldn't be the one to feel bad about them and be accosted to write him because he's unhappy in jail.
Right now I'm trying to get a job that actually pays and supports me. I trying to work as an actor and just really keep my head up above water. I can't worry about my father. He's sentenced to 7 years and has 2.5 already.
I love him to death Lord knows I do, but what am I supposed to say at this point and why am I in trouble or a bad person for not writing him?
I didn't make the decision to do crack, break the law multiple times, and hurt the ones I love. So yeah jail is gonna be tough and for my aunt to dump all of this on me just pisses me and actually hurts me even more.
Right now I just feel like telling some folks to beat it! I just wanna be happy! And I will be!

On another note. I got approached by a handsome guy today while taking a walk. He joined me on the walk and was a gentleman until he said "I had a dream last night and the girl in it looked like you, we were having amazing passionate sex" I said "well oh no that definitely wasn't me!" But he still took the walk with me and at the end I noticed his fingernails. THIS GUY HAS Chipped nail polish on them! I freaked and had no clue on what to say. I was trying my hardest to bail and finally I found a way out! I had a meeting. That was that and I was out!

MB and I have been communicating a lot. I really don't know where we stand but I'm absolutely crazy about him! In my visions on the future I totally see us being on the red carpet and titled "Hollywood's Newest Power Couple"
I mean that to the fullest. He's so talented and so passionate that if just makes me wanna be better and go even further. That is the only way that we can be together. We can't be baggage for each other because we both have big dreams and big moves!
But I miss him and I just wonder if he feels the same way. Who knows...I could be playing myself all over again. Same game different name right? But for some reason this definitely feels different.

Ah life

Vie cest belle!

Ciera Payton