Bowing out gracefully

I realized I've done a lot of that in my life especially this past two years. And here I am once again doing it. I have decided NOT to renew my lease in NYC. It sucks yes but I just know its the best thing to do.
May 2008 my cousin and I signed a lease to a 3 bedroom apartment in Harlem. I LOVE THIS PLACE. Its a duplex, cheap, located in the middle of harlem, close to all the trains. Its just a deal! and I love it!
Then December rolled around and my cousin up and left! I was litterally left with a room to sublet and rent to pay. So I did the practical thing "got someone to sublet"
since then things have been sooo harmonious. I found Liz to sublet the room and the 3rd occupant Kim was also cool. We threw parties and just had a wonderful time!
The week of March Liz found out that she was selected to be in a musical production for a show that would be in NV. I was so happy for her but it meant that she had to leave for 6 months. She was totally up front about it and volunteered to get a subletter for the time being.
Now all of a sudden my cousin wants to move back without any conflict. Problem is ALL 3 rooms are occupied until May 1st. And it's creating such an uproar. My cousin's position is "my name is still on the lease". My position is "you left and I had to do what needed to be done". the subletters' postitions  are "we signed on for a place to stay and stay comfortably and THIS is not what we signed up for"
Bottom line is I'm tired of the drama and my family has caused way too much of that in my life. Right now I want success and to live peacefully. This whole situation has literally caused me the jitters, insomina, and I have the sudden urge to want to THROW UP!
None of it is fair and worst part about it (besides the fact that she won't be accomodating and refuses to apologize and see how FUCKED UP the situation is) is that it is directly affecting ME.
So therefore, yes I am forefitting a nice apartment in a wonderful location but if my sanity and my career is on the line then FUCK it I need to now be selfish and do me.
Because everyone around has done just that for themselves and if anything my parents and grandparents didn't raise a fool!
I love my family but from here on out I choose to love them from a distance.
I mean fuck I can't be consumed with my addict father in jail, my indecisive cousin, and a list of others that I just choose not to even get into. I have to look out for me! That's just what I plan on doing.
It sucks though because as an Aquarius its hard not feel and to not hurt. We are very sensitive creatures by nature. But its all a learning lesson and shit I've learned enough! I have so many lessons that I think the world should be looking forward to my book!
so now I choose to bow out gracefully and live my life.
tomorrow I go apartment hunting in LA! wish me luck and send all of your positive vibes out this way. Lord knows I need them!

Love,

Ce Cee