Katrina thinking

Katrina changed so much in my life and in so many ways it was indeed my Tipping Point. So today I'm just taking a little moment to reflect.

With today's instant gratification and social media insensitivity to real events it's sad how soon people forget or just don't care.

Hurricane Irene sparked a lot of fear and excitement among everyone along the east coast. Reading tweets that compared Katrina to Irene were mind boggling. Yes Katrina taught a lot of lessons. But there's no comparison point blank.

A whole city was changed not only by natural dissaster but by government neglect. And it still angers me and hurts me to this day. This is why I say my people, my city is resilient. We survived and kept going. And believe me, I've wanted to quit many times.

So for those of you who don't understand I wish no hard feelings or karma but just please be mindful and respectful of that event and the people that lived it. I lost my home, anything sentimental, my grandma, and my neighborhood. I lost my home. My home.

So many people lost so much more. My prayers and thoughts go out to everyone still there in New Orleans, the ones who didn't survive, the ones rebuilding, the ones still trying to make sense out of all of this, the ones who relocated, the ones who use it as fuel, and the ones who understand.

Love you New Orleans and Gulf Coast! I'll be there soon!

Love,

Ciera Payton

My Cup Runneth Over

Today I woke up with the feel of despair.
I woke up thinking maybe I'm too ambitious. I'm working on trying to get my one-woman show off the ground for August, writing a short that I want to shoot this year, balancing rehearsals for acting class, trying to pay off bills, and oh yeah work my two restaurant jobs along auditioning. AHHHHHH

So of course I'm feeling wiring and feeling like there aren't enough Cieras to take care of everything. So I went for a run. While running all of these endorphines started releasing. I felt good to just run away. And was feeling so high and the sweat made me feel so good! Then all of a sudden I TRIPPED! I mean tripped so hard that I feel and rolled over. I know people saw me and I didn't skip a beat in getting right up and ignoring people's stares. I was about to continuing running but then I stopped. And told myself to SLOW DOWN. And that's what I did, I walked. I completed my 2 mile run by walking.

And yet there lies a lesson in here somewhere. I'm not confucious so I can't make it sound so profound, but I think the lesson is along the lines of "When your cup runneth over, slow down and take sips rather than huge gulps" :-)

I'm confident that my one-woman show will be amazing! and that I don't need to boggle myself down with making it more than what it is.

Thanks for reading

xoxo

Ciera Payton

Missing New Orleans

This was the day I went to go see my father in prison. It was such a bittersweet feeling I had. So excited to see him but yet so pissed off to see him in such circumstances. I always feel a little weird talking about him. I feel like my emotions wear on my sleeve the minute I mention my father and where he is. But fuck it, I'm a Daddy's girl and will go out of my way to see him and try to make him happy. He did the same for me. I do miss him though and our visit felt a little more normal than the last one.

The last visit (Father's Day 2009) was so difficult. I mean I kept crying every other minute. I literally had no control over my feelins. This time however it was much easier. I was used the protocol and had more of an idea of what he looked like.

After the visit I went to Audubon park and sat there watching the little lake- in the Magazine street side (for my New Orleanians).

I sat under a Magnolia tree.  Had my camera and tripod with me and took this pic.

Just getting off of work and reminiscing back to my trip a few weeks ago and just itching to get back.
Reflecting on what I do as an actor, and really noticing how NONE of it has ever been easy. I strive to make it seem effortless but most of the time its hard.

So therefore sometimes you just gotta stop and smell the Magnolias.

I miss New Orleans


xoxo

Ciera Payton

Back Home

Since I've been back home in New Orleans I've made it a point to get my ass out of bed and go running.
My time is so limited and I be damned if I'm gonna spend any hours sleeping in or laying on the couch to enjoy cable. It's a really hard challenge considering the fact that I don't have cable and reality shows are so freaking addicting!

Anyhow I've been running my behind all over the Garden District and Warehouse District. I even ventured in the 3rd ward and ran in front of my childhood home and old church. I have to admit I've picked up some Los Angele-ism as far as being scared to run in the third ward, ha!
But then I remind myself  of that saying  "Ain't nobody studyin' you child" and so I've discovered so much and now feel so inclined to take a picture. So here you go!

Enjoy

Life of THIS Actor

So here I sit in my room. In Los Angeles. After a long day at work. Well shorter than others. This is one Saturday that I didn't work a double shift at 2 out of my 3 jobs. That's right I'm working 3 jobs. I've always been a crazy person like that!

But tonight it hit me hard. I told the chef at the new job I'm working at that I'm maintaining three jobs. He looked at me and said "When do you have time to Act?" This was the second person that question this. The first was my coworker at my other job, "Sooo what are going do about acting?"

Both questions let me stammering and dancing around the true answer, "I don't know." Instead I said "Oh well, it's all working out, I'm working mainly nights and so that doesn't interfere with daytime auditions."

But really what am I going to do about acting?

I recently revisited "Poetic Justice", "Boyz in the Hood", "Do the Right Thing" and "Casino. I found myself yearning to be in the shoes of Janet Jackson, Nia Long, Rosie Perez, and Sharon Stone. "Maybe I'm not crazy or eccentric enough," I thought after I turned off Casino. "Maybe I'm not hustling enough."
But what else am I supposed to do when I need to maintain finances and live in a foreign city all on my own.

But tonight I pondered hard. Is this me throwing in the towel?

Naaa, One thing I do know and that I am for certain is that everyone's path is different. I love when Jay Z says "Everyone can tell you how to do it but they never did it."

That's how I feel. I'm honestly taking it one step day by day. No one else wears my shoes or completely knows what it's like being in them. But damn it I sure would like to switch with a couple of other people.

In the meantime, I stay optimistic. For some reason, I'm not depressed or sad. I'm still an actor no matter what.

Michele Shay said it best, "You gotta live life in order to tell stories." Hell I'm definitely living it now!



On another note, I saw John Lithgow in his One-Man show or "Stories from the Heart." I'm so glad that I talked my friend into going to see it with me. It really opened me up to a whole other world. He told two stories and talked a lot about storytelling, because that's what actors do, tell stories, and people listened. And boy did I listen. He told storied I had never heard before but they sat with me. And he was so funny and animated. That's what I want to do as an actor is bring someone completely different from me and my upbringing into my world and share stories with them that they have never heard and have them connect with me.

Ok I'm starting to sound like Dorothy here! but it's true! John made me proud to be an artist. to be an actor.

Now if only I can ACT!

It'll all be in due time. I'm sure of it. Until then, I'll continue strategizing and moving forward. Somethings going to come through.

Ashe,

Ciera Payton

A Customer Left this to me

At work last night a customer wrote this and left it along with a 7$ tip on a 20$ tab.

I started to ignore it but it spoke to me.

And here what it says...

Happy New Years to you and your love one. Respect this coming year and it will grant you wisdom. Remember it's ok to let go. You had along year. Now it's time to renewed your self-and bigger-a new year. Make sure that life has a purpose for give your enemies and love your self more don't look back cause it might hurt. So when you go home tonight thank your self for being an amazing person. Do the same for others and life will pay you back. Hang in there be happy and always smile no matter what.

From me
For them
To you and to us.

Well Well Well Well!

First things FIRST!

I woke up this morning prepping for a long day of organizing for my New Orleans Benefit and a long shift at work.

To my surprise I find out I AM NOMINATED FOR AN AUDELCO AWARD!!!!

For BEST LEADING ACTRESS!!!!! in "Savannah Black and Blue"

Wooo Hooo!!!

Honestly, I have to celebrate and rejoice because I am so grateful and thankful for all the good that is coming my way right now!

I wanted to cry but I was too busy screaming in my car!

Also! the New Orleans benefit is rolling!!!! I'm so excited and so blessed to have Ashley-Nicole!
It's just so amazing how wonderful things are unfolding!!!

Lots of work to do but lots to celebrate!!!